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Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Darling
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Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
First of all, I’d like to sternly state that for the time being, I am quite content to float somewhere in between ‘unsure’ and ‘human’. While I’m obviously quite open to the possibility that I may be Otherkin, I am equally as open to the possibility that I have an active imagination and need to get off 4Chan. I’d really rather examine the evidence before I look for a mystical answer to every little quirk that presents itself. That being said, my feeble reasoning behind why I’m here is going to sound slightly hypocritical. I’d also like to mention that I’m not interested in having my reasoning devalued or ripped to shreds; I’m aware that it’s very feeble and that there are other obvious and perfectly mundane explanations for all of them; I personally feel that it says something that there’s a multiplicity of such happenings, and I know that in order to be sincerely unbiased, it’s best for me to look into every possibility, rather than pick and choose between believability.

So, I’ve found myself here after some roundabout research. I was looking for fictitious novels by a certain author and I was eventually led to a different Otherkin website. After spending a few years researching the various varieties of and beliefs about Otherkin (I freaking love ED’s article), including purchase of the book A Field Guide To Otherkin, I’ve decided that the next best course of action is to join the forum that I’ve heard cited as no-nonsense the most. It’s a decision that’s come after several months contemplation; I really have seen mixed reception of people who are openly unsure within the Otherkin community, which frankly … strikes me as confusing and a little hypocritical in itself. When nothing is concrete in a concept, it seems off to berate people for being unsure about it. From what I’ve heard of this forum, though, it’s quite unlike that, which is why I’ve chosen to this forum for now.

Onto my reasoning behind why I’m considering that I may be Otherkin (along with considering that I may just have a broken brain): first and foremost, in my opinion, is a feeling of displacement - I believe that the word is species dysphoria? (Huh, what, my computer is blatantly refusing to add that word to it’s dictionary.) I don’t really know how to explain it, considering I find it hard enough to state what it’s like to be human in the first place, let alone how to explain what it feels like to experience the feeling of being displaced in the human species. I can, however, confidently assert that when I state that I experience species dysphoria with regards to being a human, it’s not out of some petty “humanz hate me” attitude; I know that we as a collective could try a shitton harder to clean our damn act up, but that’s not going to happen. I enjoy going to school, the movies, bowling, parties. It’s fun to participate in very human activities, but I do not feel as though humanity ‘fits’, if you will.

Alongside this, my body itself feels odd and disproportionate. This is due to both an overall feeling of wrongness and of phantom limbs. Unless my phantom limbs describe some kind of weird fruitbat-dragon which hasn’t yet been discovered, though, these make no sense, and I am too sceptical of life on other planets (and of any concept of multiple planes containing multiple life forms) to instantly say ‘well, it feels like an alien’. I tend to feel strange quills, sets of five, protruding from my shoulderblades. Phantom muscle underneath doesn’t mimic shoulderblade and suggests an entirely different anatomical structure in that general vicinity, and I also frequently feel fruitbat-like wings, in that my hands feel claw-like and graspy and there are odd winglike-structures protruding from my sides and attached to my arms. There is no tail, as such, but it does feel as though my coccyx is bent the wrong way - it feels as though it should be bending out, creating a ‘tail’ of sorts that would probably only achieve a few pointless centimeters. Very occasionally, I feel a very narrow tail of a foot or two. Aside from these, which are very constant, there is occasional “hoofy” feelings, gills, feelings of a wrong-shaped mouth, and of scales - this whole ‘my body doesn’t fit, ohnoes’ feeling is very unrealistic and unbelievable, but I’m giving it a go and seeing where I land, for now ~

There are occasionally thoughts (I would say that they’re memories except for a scepticism as far as reincarnation is concerned) that seem odd given present situations; sensations of having been somewhere similar but not … conceivably the same; very often sensations of being/having been underwater, and apparent ‘memories’ of interacting with plants I don’t seem to have any recollection of knowing. There’s also occasional unrealistic shifts in my personality and mannerisms; I am a very cheerful, optimistic and socially-oriented person who never has very many reserves (offline) and who doesn’t tend to give a rat’s bum about personal space, though I will very occasionally and for no apparent reason experience what seems to be described as a ‘mental shift’ in which I will become socially awkward, reluctant to interact, I will value space and privacy and I will take on a bit of a sentry-like role where I will be watchful, mindful and skittish in a way which is totally, utterly unrealistic for me. There is almost a complete adjustment in behaviour at these times which tends to be quite obvious to friends. While there’s no silly acting out, I do tend to avoid people and grumble far more often when in these … well, I’m reluctant to call them ‘moods’ because they’re not just moody mood swings. I know moody mood swings. >.<

I suppose that’s all I can say at the moment for why I feel as though I might be Otherkin. If it’s been of any interest, you’re welcome to discuss it or provide your thoughts - but please, as I mentioned above, don’t devalue it. I’ve spent damn years experiencing these and if it turns out that I’m experiencing these because I’m not mentally sound, you will be the first to find out by my sudden removal of myself from this forum. As far as myself, I’m a university student from Australia who loves cats and spends too much time on weheartit. I love pizza and the movie Night Watch - I’ve never read the books, but intend to. I’ve often thought it would be cool to have Anton’s power. Creepy, challenging, but cool.
2010-10-09 8:59
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DischordianJoy
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Post: #2
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Hi there, nice to meet ya. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

As someone who has been around the otherkin community for ... oh, Lordy, a while now... I would say that as a "maybe", you've probably provided the most information that I would feel free to say is compelling enough to consider otherkinism. Most just say "because I feel like I am, therefore I am". (Which, IMHO, is actually okay. I mean when you think about it, all we have in this world to be sure of is what we feel. I'm not a complete nihilist or skeptic, but I do think that it's extremely hard to be sure of anything external to ones' self.)

My only points are potentially minor, but I figured I would throw them into the space and see what sticks. You absolutely do not have to answer any of these questions or points, if you don't like. They're just thinking points.

1.) If you don't like the idea of reincarnation, what do you think might be causing your feeling of "otherness"? Surely it must come from somewhere.
2.) If your mental facilities aren't impaired by either some kind of learning disability or some form of psychological distress, does that mean that your feelings are automatically valid? Or that if they are impaired that your feelings are automatically invalid?
3.) I recently became aware that Phantom Limb Syndrome is actually a highly valid experience which happens to many more people than just those who consider themselves a member of the otherkin subgroup, or those who are amputees. The general thought is that there may be a misfiring in the brain that imitates sensations of pain or discomfort.
4.) I consider myself an otherkin, but I have never once experienced a mental "shift". I am me, and I've always been me, and I'm kind of jealous of those who have shifted. I used to, ages ago, kind of incite mental "shifts", but once I stopped kidding myself I knew that they were always me putting on an act.

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2010-10-09 12:15
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Post: #3
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Yo and welcome!

You seem to have all the "I might just be bonkers" bases covered.
More so than most folk that come 'round here.

Darling Wrote:I’ve decided that the next best course of action is to join the forum that I’ve heard cited as no-nonsense the most.
Ah, how that warms the heart... <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

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2010-10-09 12:50
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Post: #4
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Welcome <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> I for one prefer someone to come around saying "hey, I might be crazy, I might not be otherkin at all, I'm uncertain here, but this is why I think I might be" than to say "I'm X-kin and don't question me!"... call me crazy (mainly cause I might be lol) <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

Keep in mind that phantom limbs can be symbolic. The spikes thing could be a symbolic projection of your brain thinking you need something to protect your back...and keep in mind that physics supports the multiple planes of existance thing, as well as the fact that there are gliding dinosaurs with bat-like wings as well as species of dinosaur and early mammals that haven't been discovered yet.

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2010-10-09 13:38
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Darling
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Post: #5
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
DischordianJoy Wrote:Hi there, nice to meet ya. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

It's nice to meet you, too!

1.) If you don't like the idea of reincarnation, what do you think might be causing your feeling of "otherness"? Surely it must come from somewhere.

It's not so much that I don't like the idea of reincarnation, but that I'm sceptical to make a definitive decision of what happens after death. I'm open to the idea of reincarnation just as I'm open to the idea of burning in a firey lake for all of eternity just as I'm open to the idea of dying and nothing happening thereafter. I suppose that the idea of what could be causing these feelings could be anything: batshit insanity, feelings from (a) God, neuro-electrical misfires, an overactive imagination / wishful thinking. I have no idea.

2.) If your mental facilities aren't impaired by either some kind of learning disability or some form of psychological distress, does that mean that your feelings are automatically valid? Or that if they are impaired that your feelings are automatically invalid?

Certain psychological / emotional functions are impaired / altered by mild autism, so while I wouldn't say that my feelings are automatically valid or invalid, I lean more toward the 'invalid' end of the spectrum. I've always held that it's far more sensible to try to disprove something rather than to prove it - I don't know, that sort of approach lines up with Occam's razor more for me.

3.) I recently became aware that Phantom Limb Syndrome is actually a highly valid experience which happens to many more people than just those who consider themselves a member of the otherkin subgroup, or those who are amputees. The general thought is that there may be a misfiring in the brain that imitates sensations of pain or discomfort.

Oh, yes - I'm well aware that phantom limbs are ridiculously common; my best friend has a tail. I find it interesting that otherkin / limbs-that-never-were phantom limbs are often without pain and discomfort, though - it makes me all the more sceptical of it, because the phantom limbs of amputees tend to be itchy, painful or uncomfortable. Of course, there's always the woman who sprouted a phantom third arm after her stroke.

4.) I consider myself an otherkin, but I have never once experienced a mental "shift". I am me, and I've always been me, and I'm kind of jealous of those who have shifted. I used to, ages ago, kind of incite mental "shifts", but once I stopped kidding myself I knew that they were always me putting on an act.

That's interesting. I haven't ruled out the possibility of me making all these mental shifts up, of course - and hell, I might just be a moody bitch who can't recognise certain mood swings. I don't think that I'm actively imagining or inducing these shifts, but I'm more than willing to nod along with the possibility/probability that I'm subconsciously inducing them.

Miniar Wrote:Yo and welcome!

You seem to have all the "I might just be bonkers" bases covered.
More so than most folk that come 'round here.

I'm flattered. <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue -->

Seraphyna Wrote:Welcome <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Thanks.

Keep in mind that phantom limbs can be symbolic. The spikes thing could be a symbolic projection of your brain thinking you need something to protect your back...

That's always kept in mind - I have some anxiety issues about people touching my back unexpectedly, and it's crossed my mind more than once that I may be feeling my quills simply as a subconsciously attempted defensive mechanism, say, that perhaps I subconsciously believe that my quills will alert me to unexpected contact before it happens. While that doesn't seem to be the active / conscious reason for having quills, I've gone back to it as the most likely reason several times.

and keep in mind that physics supports the multiple planes of existance thing,

Would you be able to drop some links or recommend a book about this? I love the sciences.

as well as the fact that there are gliding dinosaurs with bat-like wings as well as species of dinosaur and early mammals that haven't been discovered yet.

Such as pterodactyls? I hadn't even thought about dinosaurs - I suppose I hadn't really wanted to consider any specific sort of animal or mythological being until I became more certain that I am Otherkin, because I imagine it'd be harder to face up to reality and let it go if I discover that I'm not actually Otherkin after I've said to myself 'Yeah, I'm x. It feels good.' I really hadn't thought about dinosaurs, though. The closest I'd come to as far as 'hey, this actually feels like x' is manta rays - but, then, of course, I tell myself to stop that or I'll get into wishful thinking frame of mind.
2010-10-09 23:32
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Seraphyna
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Post: #6
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Nothing specific comes to mind as quantum physics tends to make my brain hurt, but The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot is an interesting read and I'm planning on reading Stephen Hawking's The Grand Design once my father finishes it.

There are a few species of gliding dinosaurs such as members of the genus Microraptor and Archaeopteryx. And of course the flying dinosaurs like pterodactyls.

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2010-10-10 2:28
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DischordianJoy
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Post: #7
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Food for thought: Pterasaurs aren't actually dinosaurs. They're winged lizards. Dinosaur actually refers to only a narrow swath of lizardly type creatures.

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2010-10-10 11:41
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Post: #8
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
On the phantom limbs.

Many/most otherkin consider their phantom limbs to be energy-based extensions of their subtle body.
As such, they're different than phantom limbs of amputees and such.

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2010-10-10 12:31
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Post: #9
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
welcome. did you bring cookies? <!-- s:happy_demon: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/happy_demon.gif" alt=":happy_demon:" title="happy demon" /><!-- s:happy_demon: -->

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2010-10-10 19:50
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Post: #10
Re: Alright, so I'm a "maybe" over here.
Welcome to OKP! Glad our no-nonsense zone was appealing. Most folks find us helpful in our questioning and serious approach to Otherkin. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

I am curious though, since you've been thinking about this for years now, and there's evidence to the positive, why are you still hesitating to call yourself Otherkin? Most of us doubt ourselves and our claims daily, so you would be in good company.

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2010-10-12 14:16
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