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A Need For Chaos?
simim23
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Post: #1
A Need For Chaos?
There's a thread like this on another forum I frequent, and it made me realize it would make good discussion here too.

So, many demons enjoy, or even NEED, chaos in their day-to-day current human lives. I know I do.

Imposition of order = escalation of chaos. The more you try to order things, the more chaos will unfold from it at its breaking point. And it IS ever so fun to tip the first domino, so to speak.

I have little and big, demure and drastic ways of doing that. For instance, when someone believes in something deeply, and I say one thing that makes them question their entire belief system. THAT is chaos. They're in one of the biggest states of mental, emotional, and psychological turmoil you can put someone through.

In a more physical sense, I like to light fires. It sounds well, bad, and it probably is, but I've always liked to go out to a field far from neighborhoods and light a piece up on fire before it's about to rain. Total chaos, total annihilation, yet creating new space for plants to grow in its stead. Creative and destructive all at once.

Trying to corral drunk people into a tightly enclosed areas is ALWAYS chaotic... and fun.

Mosh pits are chock full of chaos. I mosh as often as I can.

Back in high school, I used to pull all sorts of pranks, even starting the occasional food fight.

My friends tell me I have a habit of bringing chaos with me wherever I go without even trying, though. I don't know if they meant that in a bad way, but I take it in a good way. XD

But I DO need it. As much as possible. Every now and then, I suffer some fatigue from too much chaos, but that's my physical body, not *me*, reacting to it.

You do NOT want to see me in a place with "too much order". I feel horrible, I look like how I'm feeling, etc. It's downright pitiful. Places like calm hospital wards, or governmental institutions, or even silent classrooms. I freak out, I draw myself inward energetically without realizing it, and I stop searching for energy. It's kinda like I collapse into myself, and it's a terrible, terrible thing.


Therefore:

-How much would you say you need/want it?
-How do you go about getting it?
-Do you provoke it, or does it just happen? How so?
-What kind of chaotic situations do you prefer? Mental, psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual? Etc.


On a similar tangent... how does, when what you perceive to be chaos happens, make you feel, both as a human, as otherkin, or something else?

Does it make you feel good? Bad? Do you crave that feeling repeatedly? Are you a spontaneous-feeling addict? Gimme some juicy things.

Simim: Rainbow poop at your disservice.
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2008-08-13 4:59
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kahoku
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Post: #2
Re: A Need For Chaos?
simim23 Wrote:Imposition of order = escalation of chaos. The more you try to order things, the more chaos will unfold from it at its breaking point. And it IS ever so fun to tip the first domino, so to speak.

qft. will write more later.

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2008-08-13 7:09
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Malakoi
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Post: #3
Re: A Need For Chaos?
I have a certain need for chaos, but I don't know if I'm a demon.

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2008-08-13 7:24
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Post: #4
Re: A Need For Chaos?
-How much would you say you need/want it?

it's like food. i can live without it for a while, but in the end it's necessary for living.

-How do you go about getting it?

if i could write a "recipe" here, it wouldn't be chaotic anymore, right? <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> but generally i do it by being the antagonist.

-Do you provoke it, or does it just happen? How so?

both. of course, provoking it is much more fun. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

-What kind of chaotic situations do you prefer? Mental, psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual? Etc.

too much chaos isn't always a good thing as a human, but i like creative chaos in every aspect.

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2008-08-13 10:02
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Post: #5
Re: A Need For Chaos?
simim23 Wrote:...or governmental institutions...

LMAO! No chaos there? Yeah right! On a session day it's anything but orderly on the House floor! It would probably be a demon's smorgasbord! People running around helter-skelter, some people paying attention while others are off in their own little world's, so much talking everywhere that the noise is sometimes deafening, even a few people sleeping...doesn't sound too organized to me. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Sorry, didn't meant to hijack this topic but since I work for the government I thought this myth needed to be cleared up.

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2008-08-13 13:26
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Post: #6
Re: A Need For Chaos?
OH, I totally know how you feel. However, there are different kinds of chaos. when it's another person's emo mood-swings I tend to get frustrated very fast. So, let me explain my perfect chaos, and the things that are BADD that happen regardless.

My perfect chaos is a sense of not knowing what's going to happen next, living moment to moment. I think ahead, sporadically, but generally I follow my gut. I like energy near me to be very chaotic, but NOT if it's just one person throwing off craptons of extreme emotional energy. I've lived with an extremely psychopathic emo person for the past 4 months and I'm about ready to hand her a knife and tell her where to cut.

Certain things create different chaoses. Silence itself is occasionally perfect because people HATE silence. I personally love it. I HATE false audio, like dvd's and tv shows. It drives me nuts. I also hate hearing other people argue constantly. Sometimes it can be fun but when it's every day like it is here it's enough to make me want to strangle them. Living here has taught me self control... but I think after I leave I'm going to take all the self control off and live freely. I miss it.

-How much would you say you need/want it?
I'd say probably 50-85%. Stasis bores me but I like a break now and then.

-How do you go about getting it?
I'll do anything from making a comment about something I know will affect them emotionally, to starting up a random conversation I know will make them start sparking off energy, and I'll often play the devil's advocate to a T to get the desired effect.

I automatically play into whatever role people instantly put me in. If you put me up as being a fluffy twit, subconciously I go into full-on fluffmode. If you assume I'm an emotional bitch, I play the part subconciously. I do it to such a degree I believe that IS how I am, until I prove myself right (That that's what they think of me) and then basically call them on it and laugh. One friend thinks I do it on purpose... I really don't. It's just how I am. Partially it's my shields, partially it's my nature, because of the fact that I am sick of always trying to explain myself to people who will never understand.

I can play any part to a T, and to such a degree that the person gets REALLY pissed off, and then I step back and the mask comes off and I think mentally (oh shit... -snicker- oops...) and then tell them.

It amuses me, I guess... I'm debating being brutally honest from now on. That in itself would make people go WTF???

-Do you provoke it, or does it just happen? How so?
It depends, really. I think my energy automatically makes it happen... It also depends on what kind of a mood I am in. If I'm in a more "I want calmness" mood, it tends to be more calm around me. However, sometimes I get pushed nearly to my breaking point when I'm already in a really bad mood by someone who keeps making comments that piss me off. I get to a point where I am close to blacking out and I try to stop it, because to be blunt I am afraid of what I would do while under.

Sometimes I provoke it, as I said in the earlier question, sometimes it just happens.

-What kind of chaotic situations do you prefer? Mental, psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual? Etc.
Mental, psychological, physical, SLIGHT emotional, etc. I prefer chaotic situations where the very air you BREATHE is chaotic. Where everything going toward it is chaotic. However, I don't like the emotional chaos when it's 98% depression 2% idiotic anger (my current roommate is like that 24 effin 7...)

I like psychological chaos, meaning that I constantly am nitpicking my past to figure out why I am the way that I am. I come up with random possibilities and try to connect them. To me chaos is knowledge. Order is the organization and hiding of that knowledge. With Chaos, it's all out there right in front of you, you just have to figure out how to read it.

Mental chaos is pretty fun too, to a point though. I've had 2 mental breakdowns in the past 2 years, in the second one I honestly spent that full half hour thinking I was poisoned/having a "brain attack/going to die. Both of those were due to too much stress and not enough of me talking about my problems. I'm trying to avoid number 3 now, and am hoping I can get out of here before it happens.

I also like physical chaos. By that I mean moving a lot. I finally realized this lately. I think it's for many reasons, really. One, on an instinctual basis, I don't like to be in one place for too long. It's too easy for people to track you down. Energywise, physically, etc. I also do it because in my childhood, from literally birth, i wouldnt spend more than a year or two in one place. I was constantly shipped between my parents and had no stable ground. To me, comfort and home IS moving. I like the new energies I get when I move to a specific place. I don't like feeling stuck. Feeling stuck in a place SUCKS to me... I'm constantly searching for an elusive energy, my "home". If I live with an emo person it drains the feel-good vibes much faster. If not for Ellie and David, I could probably have had no problem staying here for about a year. But no, it's been 4 months and I'm ready to kill them in their sleep.. time to move on.

As for spiritual chaos? I AM chaos. Energywise, I'm pretty much most main energies all squashed into one little me. Well, little physically. <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue -->
2008-08-13 14:29
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Post: #7
Re: A Need For Chaos?
Just popping my nose in here because while I'm not a demon, I *am* a shadow - and I find that a lot of people make the mistake that shadows = demons, that dark = chaotic, or anything along those totally false lines.

I did a little RL laugh at Simimimimim's phobia of over-ordered hospital wards etc - this is the kind of environment in which I thrive. At home I'm a bit chaotic due to having little time to devote to tidying up etc - but at work, I kid you not when I say I have my paperclips organised by size and lined up the same way. Everything is completely and totally ordered. Totally non-demonic.

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2008-08-13 19:48
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Post: #8
Re: A Need For Chaos?
Elinox Wrote:
simim23 Wrote:...or governmental institutions...

LMAO! No chaos there? Yeah right! On a session day it's anything but orderly on the House floor! It would probably be a demon's smorgasbord! People running around helter-skelter, some people paying attention while others are off in their own little world's, so much talking everywhere that the noise is sometimes deafening, even a few people sleeping...doesn't sound too organized to me. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Sorry, didn't meant to hijack this topic but since I work for the government I thought this myth needed to be cleared up.

Lol, actually working there vs. visiting there are two different things.

The more and more I hear about the "inner workings" of government buildings, the more and more I'd like to get a job in one.

But tours? Just checking them out? Sterile, bland, pristine... ordered. DX

Oooh, except the occult symbols in the capital building... XD

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2008-08-13 21:59
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House Hesson
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Post: #9
Re: A Need For Chaos?
simim23 Wrote:The more and more I hear about the "inner workings" of government buildings, the more and more I'd like to get a job in one.

But tours? Just checking them out? Sterile, bland, pristine... ordered. DX

Not so much for the military, in our experience - but they work in a less predictable operating environment.

If the office in question hasn't transitioned to electronic forms, you could have a lot of lovely fun with the paper forms. Back in the day, having various forms at hand was a great help, both practically and in terms of producing enough desk clutter to look productive.

It's a common habit of the government employees we know, to never throw away anything. That also has some opportunity for chaos, though first the employee in question would need to look back in zir piles of paper for something. And sadly, I think creative rearrangement in the wrong office would get labeled "potential terrorism" all too easily these days. T.T

We did, during our stint working for the government, consider designing a small cannon or trebuchet and glitter-filled projectiles, or sneaking in early/late to cover a coworker's desk with fake grass and make a miniature landscape of it. Unfortunately, we're too lazy for that sort of thing.

Our memories of the alfar indicate that we are as a race very rule-oriented, but also attentive to loopholes. Everyone knows who would like to throw whom out of power; the questions are when, through whom, and by what means. Add to that resentment that we're forced to live outside our paradigm here an overall inclination to above-normal curiosity within the system and childhood indoctrination that having authority on our side means we need fear no enemy, and you get a system with strong tendencies to trigger undesired (perhaps unforeseen, given the caliber of person we normally deal with in meatspace) consequences of others' behavior, find weaknesses in others' reasoning and push up against them regardless of whether we'd prefer them to change their position, and escalating drama with a well-placed and rational observation.

If we can't have the elvan Courts we remember, and if we're forced to live with sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, religious bigotry, and the like (never mind how elitist we are), we will d***ed well subvert every "normal" paradigm we can get our hands on in a way that provokes as little anger toward us as the messengers as possible. We don't need it, but we crave it, and this sort of retaliation is well documented as being part of Fae nature in general, including alfar nature.

-Shainin, providing your routine reminder that Fae can be rather like demons and vice versa, in some ways

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2008-08-13 22:57
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Post: #10
Re: A Need For Chaos?
All this talk of desk sabotage is depressing me.

If someone was foolish enough to rearrange the contents of my desk, then it's likely that the results would be clients have a lot of stress (including vast amounts of emotional pain and suffering), I have to work harder or longer to do things on time (meaning my own health deteriorates), the profit to wage ratio would go in the wrong direction leading to extra stress for those kind folks who give me and my Comrade Workers jobs, and the general unhappiness index of the world would rise.

Of course I work in private practice where I work hard all day and get no sick pay; in government work, where apparently no-one ever does anything and there are no deadlines, things might be different <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

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2008-08-14 22:16
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